Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Trying not to spoil my children

The hardest thing about being a single mom is guilt:

  • Guilt for the divorce.

  • Guilt for being emotionally absent during hard times.

  • Guilt for not being the perfect mom.


The truth is guilt makes me do crazy things like spoiling my children.

They were running late and I drove them to school. And this happened over and over again, until one day I realized I was insane. The switch happened when my kid forgot her lunch in the car and texted me a few minutes later. "I guess I'm just not eating lunch today."

In that moment, I decided I would not drive them anymore.

It hit me that in order for them to be independent, I had to force myself to do less and to let go, and to risk allowing them to be late for school. I had to stop reminding them of what to bring. They had to learn through their own failures and through natural consequences.

It would be so much easier to pack their bags and drive them to school, but I know that that would be hurting them. Now, I aim to trust that things will turn out okay.

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